Not the best parental advice

[dvandom]

Overheard today:

Little girl is complaining that her baby sister is hitting her.

Mother: "Why don't you hit her back? You're bigger than her!"

Oy.

Comments

[lord-xiphos.livejournal.com]

Uhh... what?!

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

The mother was also calling the girl "chicken" for trying to keep away from the baby sister.

[querldox.livejournal.com]

Back when I was around 3 or 4, a neighborhood playmate of the same age apparently realized that he could hit me and I wouldn't hit back. Our mothers had a talk about this, and mutually decided that I should be told to hit him so that he'd stop.

So my mother and I had the following conversation (or something like it):

Mom: I want you to hit John.
Me: [thinks for a moment] Where exactly do you want me to hit him? [presumed thought process; OK, you want me to do this thing. Yeah, OK. Now, let's get into specifics about how I'm going to do it.]

I forget whether I carried it out or not, but if I did it was probably the most mechanically done one-off in toddler history.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

"Excuse me, madam, not to intrude, but could I get your name and address for the report I'm about to file with the child protective services?"

"Excuse me, madam, but I'd like to congratulate you, seldome have I ever seen anyone training her daughter to harm her younger daughter, and as you are the kind of trash that we want out of the gene pool, your actions will do this nicely."

"Excuse me, little girl, but your mother is bothering me by being very stupid, may I hit her?" (and if she says no,) "Thank you for being much smarter than your mother." (and if the mother protests,) "She has as much right to give me permission to strike you as you have to give her permission to strike her sister, you abysmal zit on the nose of America."

Or even

"Congratulations, madam, you have fully embraced the concept of terrorism, and have begun teaching it to your daughter. I imagine by the time she's ten, she'll be fully equipped to kill other people for whatever foolish reason you concoct, if she hasn't already done that to you."

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

I think she was trying to be sarcastic, but sarcasm is kinda wasted on 4 year olds.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Which makes it even more imperative that someone needs to shame her.


But I think you're giving her far too much credit, since she was also taunting the girl for being chicken.

[recharge138.livejournal.com]

Awesome. Don't be a wussy, kid!

[recharge138.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if I'd witnessed this exchange and heard you say any of that, I'd assume you were a raving loon.

Especially the child services line.

[andrusi.livejournal.com]

Did she?

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

I doubt it. I didn't SEE it, just overheard it. But there was a later, "No, no one's hitting anyone" statement as I was walking out of earshot. Couldn't tell if that was a "No, I didn't MEAN you could hit your sister" statement, or reassurance that the baby sister wasn't going to be hitting the older sister.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Good for you! You're not a moomie!
Your average moomie would hear cpd and go into a huge defensive tirade that I would dare to criticise how she raised her baybeeee and so forth.
Some of the other stuff might get slight variations on same.

However... did I anywhere say that I would, or Dave should, say any of this out loud?

This is merely what I fantasize, because moomie is legally allowed to teach whatever braindamage she wants to dear little Kinderkilla. Children, unlike pit bulls, may be taught to attack without legal ramification to the trainer.

[recharge138.livejournal.com]

I'm aware of the childfree communities and so forth. Funny stuff, but often as zealous as the type of parents they ridicule.

I just think that Dave heard five seconds of a family conversation out of context and you're hearing it second hand, and your first thought is "Child services!" is about as bad as anything the KIDZ R EVERYTHING people do.

Also, I think the idea of "don't take shit from people you don't have to" is a good thing to teach kids.

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Well, I have enough context to know it's just bad parenting, not actual abuse. These kids are gonna curse like sailors when they hit elementary school, based on the example they're getting, though.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Ah, conclusion jumping, my favorite spectator sport.

I'm not a member of the childfree communities. My wife and I were unable to have children before she died, and she did follow the communities when it was clear that we wouldn't be able to, but neither of us went into the lunacy stage.

As I said, those are the snarky thoughts that run through my head when I see these little snippets in real life, and not really what I'm likely to do.

Irrespective, it's bad parenting to tell your kid to hit your other kid; it's not relevant at all to 'don't take shit from people you don't have to' and reinforces an adversarial situation inside the family, where teaching her better coping methods will mean she'll use them in other situations.

[recharge138.livejournal.com]

Bad parenting is subjective. Better coping methods like "Run to momma for help" or "Just take it?" I don't get it.

Kids fight. Tired moms make snarky comments at their kids. Nothing in life is perfect.

Personally, if I have kids, I'm of the "let the kid stick the penny in the light socket and see what happens" kind of guy.

[recharge138.livejournal.com]

ALso, sorry to lump in those communities, but the snark words you were using are pretty common there. My bad, bouncing panda person.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Ignore that earlier remark, as my brain is elsewhere.

As evidenced in another thread, use of jargon does not necessarily mean that one is a member of the group which originated the jargon.

I believe Rap music contains numerous current examples.

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

... because as we all know, being pompous at total strangers is the absolute best way to act as a force for social improvement.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Read the rest of it.