So, I decided to pop a few keys with worn letters off and do some re-inking (not gonna waste money on a new keyboard at this point, since I plan to get an entirely new computer soon), and I noticed a fair amount of dust. So I went and popped off all the keys to clean out the board, and OMG HRBLS. Hair, dust, bits of yarn from the fingerless gloves I'd worn for a while last winter...and a spider. Yes, I had a web interface in my keyboard, if you will.
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I was wondering how the heck tiny penii got into his keyboard.
And then really, really, REALLY didn't want to know.