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Thickbloggers - Or, how to alienate a customer base
More aggressively trivial content (oh, I'll get to the inevitable Where I Stand On Faith post eventually, just not tonight).
When you have a too-small customer base, there's two basic tacks one can take in trying to increase it. One, you can try to add new demographic chunks to your customer base while holding onto your existing customers. This is safer, but tends to be less successful, especially if you're in a niche market to begin with. Two, you can more aggressively pursue a new customer base, but risk that that changes you make are going to lose you your original clientele.
Or you can be Hardees, and try to increase your customer base by actively insulting your old customers.
I used to really like Hardees, and was occasionally wistful over the fact I never seemed to get to live near one after I went off to grad school and could afford to eat out more often. None near me in Columbus, none in Lansing, and the one in Manhattan KS went out of business shortly before I moved here. I'd only get to eat at Hardees when traveling, and that wasn't too often. Of course, given that my favorite sandwich, the Monster Roast Beef, could be described as a heart attack on a bun, this might have been a good thing. Still, there were a few in Topeka, so when I went into Topeka for shopping trips every so often, I sometimes stopped at Hardees.
Then, a few months back, I went to one in a skeevier part of town than usual, and they didn't have the Monster Roast Beef. I was a bit snappish due to traffic, so I didn't wait for an explanation and left. I tried the one I usually went to, and found the menu had been radically simplified. I was able to fake a Monster Roast Beef by adding extras, but it wasn't the same. I was a bit saddened, a place I had liked to eat was changing into someplace I wasn't so keen on eating. Okay, a very tiny bit. It's just fast food, after all.
Ah well, things change, might some time be willing to give these new "thickburgers" a chance some time, eh? I don't generally like burgers, but this is because I lack much tolerance for cheapass burgers.
Then the ad campaign started, on the theme of "We know we used to suck donkey nads, but we're better now, honest." And this annoyed me. "We used to suck" ad campaigns are always dangerous, because you're telling people who liked the way you used to be that they have no taste. Sure, the goal is to attract the presumably large audience that agree you used to suck, and it's not a direct insult to the old customer base, but it's risky. If you fail to convince the non-customers you're worth going to now, you might end up with less customers than before.
At this point, I recall thinking, "Hm, maybe I won't be trying this Thickburger thing after all. I liked the old Hardees." This was followed a few weeks ago by, "I'm sick and tired of the airwave bombardment Hardees is pulling with this campaign, can't they change it?"
Be careful what you wish for. Apparently merely risking the loss of the old customers wasn't enough, they wanted to guarantee it. The second wave of black and white testimonial ads featured caricatures of their old customer base, practically at the straw man level, and used the "Hey, this loser here liked the way we used to be, we've changed, don't be like this loser...love us now, okay?"
Now, granted, I didn't fall into any of the groups they were caricaturing. But now they were not just implying that their old customers were clueless losers, they were stating it clearly. Why should I continue buying from a company that not only stopped doing things the way I liked, but also made a point of insulting others who liked it the old way?
Bah. Hardees is dead to me. Now, if Sonic could just stop making annoying ads, I'm starting to reconsider eating there too....
When you have a too-small customer base, there's two basic tacks one can take in trying to increase it. One, you can try to add new demographic chunks to your customer base while holding onto your existing customers. This is safer, but tends to be less successful, especially if you're in a niche market to begin with. Two, you can more aggressively pursue a new customer base, but risk that that changes you make are going to lose you your original clientele.
Or you can be Hardees, and try to increase your customer base by actively insulting your old customers.
I used to really like Hardees, and was occasionally wistful over the fact I never seemed to get to live near one after I went off to grad school and could afford to eat out more often. None near me in Columbus, none in Lansing, and the one in Manhattan KS went out of business shortly before I moved here. I'd only get to eat at Hardees when traveling, and that wasn't too often. Of course, given that my favorite sandwich, the Monster Roast Beef, could be described as a heart attack on a bun, this might have been a good thing. Still, there were a few in Topeka, so when I went into Topeka for shopping trips every so often, I sometimes stopped at Hardees.
Then, a few months back, I went to one in a skeevier part of town than usual, and they didn't have the Monster Roast Beef. I was a bit snappish due to traffic, so I didn't wait for an explanation and left. I tried the one I usually went to, and found the menu had been radically simplified. I was able to fake a Monster Roast Beef by adding extras, but it wasn't the same. I was a bit saddened, a place I had liked to eat was changing into someplace I wasn't so keen on eating. Okay, a very tiny bit. It's just fast food, after all.
Ah well, things change, might some time be willing to give these new "thickburgers" a chance some time, eh? I don't generally like burgers, but this is because I lack much tolerance for cheapass burgers.
Then the ad campaign started, on the theme of "We know we used to suck donkey nads, but we're better now, honest." And this annoyed me. "We used to suck" ad campaigns are always dangerous, because you're telling people who liked the way you used to be that they have no taste. Sure, the goal is to attract the presumably large audience that agree you used to suck, and it's not a direct insult to the old customer base, but it's risky. If you fail to convince the non-customers you're worth going to now, you might end up with less customers than before.
At this point, I recall thinking, "Hm, maybe I won't be trying this Thickburger thing after all. I liked the old Hardees." This was followed a few weeks ago by, "I'm sick and tired of the airwave bombardment Hardees is pulling with this campaign, can't they change it?"
Be careful what you wish for. Apparently merely risking the loss of the old customers wasn't enough, they wanted to guarantee it. The second wave of black and white testimonial ads featured caricatures of their old customer base, practically at the straw man level, and used the "Hey, this loser here liked the way we used to be, we've changed, don't be like this loser...love us now, okay?"
Now, granted, I didn't fall into any of the groups they were caricaturing. But now they were not just implying that their old customers were clueless losers, they were stating it clearly. Why should I continue buying from a company that not only stopped doing things the way I liked, but also made a point of insulting others who liked it the old way?
Bah. Hardees is dead to me. Now, if Sonic could just stop making annoying ads, I'm starting to reconsider eating there too....